- Everybody
else, including the brain scientists, say that women are much better than
men at relationships. Why do you
say that men are equal to women in this?
- Aren't
you just picking one more fight between men and women that's going to give
us one more thing to argue about?
Shouldn't we just accept that women are better than men at
relationships and go with it?
- You
make this statement in your book which is bound to make a lot of people
very uncomfortable and disagree with you, "The marriage you have is the
marriage you expect to have."
If someone is really not getting what they want out of their
marriage and is miserable, how could they expect to have that misery? Isn't that like saying "you made your bed, now lie in it?" No one gets married expecting misery, do
they?
- You
use this term "marriage blueprint." Do you mean something hard wired in our
brains like a roadmap to marriage that we are born with?
- You say that great marriage doesn't involve compromise... Doesn't that contradict all the marriage advice we've ever gotten from everyone which is that marriage is all about compromise?
- Is
there scientific evidence that we have these marriage blueprints you talk
about, or did you just make this up?
- Everybody
in your counseling field seems to say blame things on your parents. You have this thing called the Family
Marriage Blueprint. Is this just
one more way to talk about the negative or confusing messages your parents
gave you about marriage and relationships?
- You
say that people should be the experts in their own marriage and stop
paying attention to so-called marriage gurus to give them advice. How is your advice any different from
all the other marriage gurus out there?
- You
tell us not to focus on problems in marriage, because this will only turn
out to get us obsessed with problems and not solutions. What are you saying, that we should just
grin and bear it and never bring up problems? Aren't there real problems that have to
be solved before you can be married?
- In one
place in the book you say that divorce can be a good solution sometimes to
a relationship. Isn't that just
giving people an excuse to give up and take the easy way out? Aren't you giving permission to people
to just cut and run, and aren't you afraid that people will ruin their
childrens' lives?
- One of
your marriage blueprints, the "Wild Things," just sounds like a
big party and a do your own thing kind of lifestyle where people
experiment sexually or whatever they feel like doing. Can people really sustain a marriage
like that?
- What's
wrong with having a high standard of marriage like we have in church and
expecting people to live up to that standard? Don't we need rules and something for
people to live up to? Won't we just
have total chaos if people don't have rules to live up to?
- What exactly are you offering people
that they have never seen before to help them create a Great Marriage?
No one wants to keep doing the same things over and over again,
so what's different about your book?
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